random shit...totally pointless

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random shit...totally pointless

Post  Donny Rich on Fri Dec 12, 2008 8:54 pm

got fed up with top trumps so i thought we could have
random offensive pen portraits this year- i get bored in uni...
please add to...

Jim Bellis
Jim 'the crusher' can summon up the strength of ten bears - which can be useful when encountering a group of 9 or fewer.
Jim's favourite colour is pink.

Mark Pooleman
Mark is as loyal as a labrador, but unfortunately has the appearance of an abused Yorkshire Terrier, or 'Tawny Owl' as he prefers it.
Mark is ginger.

Steve Hickey
A master in business, Steve usually has an ace up his sleeve - and often one of your roofrack straps...and maybe a thermal.
As far as I know the reserve has not yet been met on granny Hickey.

Chris Browell
with his joined-up eyebrows and down-tilted rah eyes, Chris is often mistaken for a time-travelling caveman. Chris once had a bit part in 'Walking with Dinosaurs' but his character died under a dinosaur's thumb.

Kevin Hickey
Kev turned heterosexual in 2006 after a 'difficult' cottaging resulted in every hair on his body going curly. Kev votes BNP.

Huw Friar
Huw believes he can drink himself out of any situation including being stuck in a hole on a 20000 cumec river. Huw doesn't believe in 'morning'.

Jimmy Van Zwanenberg
'Wee' Jimmy refuses to leave his bed until a cube of fried lard is placed on his tongue. This would sustain most halflings for a day but Jimmy sometimes eats two!

Apologies, sad...i know.

Donny Rich

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Re: random shit...totally pointless

Post  francis on Mon Dec 15, 2008 10:42 pm

good god man, how much free time do you have?

absolutely brilliant by the way but surely this can't replace top trumps..!?
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Re: random shit...totally pointless

Post  Donny Rich on Tue Dec 16, 2008 4:13 pm

Francis Jones
Francis's hair has been red since he was christened in blood at the Jesmond Vale Church of sacrifice
Although a satanist, Francis believes opposites attract...

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Re: random shit...totally pointless

Post  Tom on Tue Dec 16, 2008 7:01 pm

hahaha
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Re: random shit...totally pointless

Post  francis on Tue Dec 16, 2008 9:49 pm

Huw Friar (additional)
Huw is generally harmless, but if he manages to look at you with both eyes...then your in trouble.
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Re: random shit...totally pointless

Post  Donny Rich on Wed Dec 17, 2008 12:58 pm

Louise McDougall
Lou's recent visit to Teesdale concerned environmentalists who had to press gang the local young offenders unit into soundproofing the river banks. The concern was based on Lou's infamous Farne islands trip where her high pitched voice caused a mating frenzy among Great Cormorants and, ironically, earless seals.

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Re: random shit...totally pointless

Post  stickey on Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:48 pm

i'd love to have a go but my brain capacity isnt big enough to invent ones good enough
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